


Tick Tock

by malec_hun (orsoly_writes)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, For a Friend, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Malec, One Shot, Selfish Magnus Bane, matching tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 22:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orsoly_writes/pseuds/malec_hun
Summary: I was inspired by Selfish!Magnus from the SH Season3 Premier and a song [Tick Tock - Kyle Pearce (Junge Junge Remix)], so this one shot happened in one night.





	Tick Tock

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, lovely people here!
> 
> I was inspired by Selfish!Magnus from the SH Season3 Premier and a song [Tick Tock - Kyle Pearce (Junge Junge Remix)], so this one shot happened in one night. I didn’t think it out that much and just wrote it for fun (? – we will see...) and I wanted to write something for Ari to thank her for her editing work on Maysville.  
> So don’t expect that much from this little thing. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are love! Enjoy!

There wasn’t a more pleasurable sight after a long day at the firm, than opening the front door of the apartment and the first thing to take a look at was your beautiful boyfriend on the couch, sipping wine, his head resting in his hand which was leaned against the top of the backrest of the couch.

“Why aren’t you in bed already?” Alec asked from Magnus with a smile.

“No... I wanted to talk to you,” Magnus said while Alec left his stuff on the table next to the front door. 

“I really don’t feel like going to a restaurant tonight, Magnus,” Alec said. He knew that when his boyfriend started his talk with that sentence it could only be about a new restaurant he’d see on his Instagram news feed. Alec freed himself from his shoes and wandered to the couch while he loosened his tie on his way, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows.

He sat on one of his legs and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend. “Hey,” he breathed against Magnus’ lips, smiling. 

Magnus pulled back, making Alec chasing for his lips. “Hey,” Magnus whispered, and Alec saw his forced smile. It made him worried, arching an eyebrow unwittingly.

“Did you have a bad day?” Alec asked immediately in a soft tone.

Magnus shook his head, looking down on his glass of wine, swirling the liquid in it.

“Then what is it?” Alec kept asking, “you seem strange,” he added.

“I got you something,” Magnus said out of the blue and placed his glass on the coffee table. He bent over the armrest at the other side of the couch and there was a box in his hands when he turned back to Alec. Alec’ eyes widened automatically.

“Why for?” Alec knew his expression could only have reflected his surprise. 

“It’s just a gift, we hadn’t celebrated your new position in the firm,” Magnus handed Alec the box without looking at him.

“It’s been a months,” Alec stated but he felt happy about his surprise.

It always felt so good when Magnus thought about him and found random excuses to surprise him, even it was an engraved pen or a new traveling mug or two green apples on his bag before leaving home for work. He always loved everything he received from Magnus and Alec heart always melted from those things. This time the gift seemed bigger and literally heavier.

“I know,” Magnus said, his gaze still locked on the box in Alec’s hand but this time Alec saw a soft smile on his face.

Alec discovered it from the brown paper, noticing a new laptop.

“A MacBook?” Alec asked, he was very surprised but sincerely happy. His old laptop was pretty worn out, he was already thinking of buying a new one but he had no time. He didn’t expect it from Magnus now, maybe new shirts or some new books but not this. His heart was pounding in his chest, leaning forward. Alec placed his hand on Magnus’ neck and kissed him. He wanted to deepen the kiss but Magnus pushed him lightly away with his hand on Alec’s chest. Maybe he wasn’t in a mood, he thought – or he didn’t know what to think, Magnus seemed weird. But that could be anything that could have been bothering him. He knew Magnus well enough to know he was going to spill it out soon, so Alec didn’t force him by keep on asking him about it.

“Thank you so much,” Alec said eventually, smiling at Magnus.

“I remember when I was promoted, I was very excited,” Magnus stopped, his eyes went back to the box on Alec’s lap. Alec smiled; he remembered too, Magnus was head over heels when he became the head of the PR department of a merchant bank; “there are so many opportunity and experiences ahead of you. And I don’t want you to miss out a single one the way you missed them in college,” he said and Alec frowned, tilting his head in confusion, “because of me,” Magnus added. 

Alec’s breath hitched.

Alec had studied law and Magnus public relations in college. They had met each other as freshmen, they got together in the very first month.

It had been love at first sight, obviously. At least for it was for Alec who couldn’t stop himself not to steal a kiss from Magnus at that certain party on campus. Then, he had started to woo Magnus who was playing hard to get but who gave in after 2 weeks of dating. Later, Magnus had confessed that he was already so into Alec when he had first looked at Magnus with those beautiful hazel eyes of his and at that crooked smile which had later become his trademark gesture. And then Alec had said hello, and Magnus knew already he was doomed because of the way Alec said the word hello.

Then everything happened fast. They had moved in to the same house on campus. They had their own rooms, but always ended up in one of them. So, basically, they had been living together after one month of dating.  

They were the dream couple, obviously. And Alec had never been prouder to have Magnus by his side. They supported each other in everything, in bad and in good times.

Their first summer was unforgettable, literally. The memory of it was on the back of their forearm. The matching tattoos they had inked onto their skin on a dizzy night in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. The next day they hadn’t been so sure it was a good idea, but they didn’t regret it, not at all.

Then they graduated, both of them got a job and officially moved in together in a fancy building in Brooklyn. They have been together for more than six years now.

“Magnus, I don’t actually feel that way. Is it because I’m taking extra hours? I can work on this case from here,” Alec said, grabbing Magnus’ hand who was finally looking at him with a pained expression.

“No, no! It’s not, I just know how much you love your work, finally being a lawyer...” Magnus said, placing his other hand on Alec’s.

“I don’t regret being with you, at all,” Alec protested.

Magnus took a deep breath, his chest increased and he exhaled the air sharp and slowly through his nose. “Maybe not now, but if we stay together—”

“If?” Alec cut him off; his voice was higher and offended this time, pulling away a little.

Alec’s heart was racing and not in a good way. He felt like falling apart. He really didn’t expect this.

“What are you saying?” Alec asked, trying to stay calm, putting on his lawyer face.

“I’m saying that I want what is best for you,” Magnus leaned closer, “it’s a very exciting time in your life, you’re gonna meet new people, you’re gonna discover yourself, finally being a lawyer at—”

“Right, I can do all that and still be with you,” Alec cut him off again with a serious tone, like the one he used in court.

“This is what you’ve always been dreamed of,” Magnus kept talking, Alec was going to give in, he wasn’t going to let this insane way of thinking influence their relationship. Magnus should have known about how he felt about his new position. He was happy about it but he would never throw Magnus away because of his job and they had always found the balance between their jobs and their relationship.

“I’ve always dreamed of meeting someone like you,” Alec said, this time his tone was softer.

They were holding hands, and the silence between them grew more awkward. Alec could hear his own heartbeats, he really didn’t understand what Magnus’ intentions were. He didn’t know where this was heading, he didn’t know if he had a word on this. Magnus could see that Alec was lost in his thoughts.

“If we stay together you might end up stuck where you are. But if you take this time for yourself, there will be no regrets,” Magnus said.

Alec shook his head. “What are you doing? I don’t under–”

“I found a new apartment,” Magnus said and Alec pulled his hands back immediately.

“For how long have you been planning this?” Alec blurted out. He didn’t try to hold back his anger and offense this time. Because he felt... He felt Magnus just ripped his heart out of his chest.

Magnus didn’t answer. Alec had some idea as finding an apartment wasn’t a thing that happened over night. Especially with Magnus’ requirements. It could take time.

His silence killed Alec, giving him more time to put things together. He hated his lawyer mind, to see everything clear in no time, the realization hit him in his face.  

“Since I got that position?” Alec asked angrily, his blood was boiling. “You had been planning on breaking up with me for a month?” he asked and jumped off the couch, pacing back and forth in the living room.

“Alexander,” Magnus said desperately.

“How could you look into my eyes, how could you sleep with me, how could you kiss me, how could you make love to me for a whole month knowing that you were gonna break up with me at some point? How could you pretend that everything was fine?” Alec asked without taking a breath. There were too many questions, he realized.

Alec put on his serious lawyer expression when he was waiting for Magnus to answer. But Magnus only opened and closed his mouth for a couple of times but Alec didn’t get an answer.

Alec ran his fingers through his hair. “Fine, go,” Alec said in a low voice, standing still. He knew then that the decision had been made and as it was followed by actions then there was nothing to do against it. Only accept it even though it made him fall apart inside.

He was standing still while Magnus stood up and walked to the front door. Alec’S gaze burned a hole into the pillow he was staring at on the couch. He couldn’t look at Magnus, who was about to walk out of his life. He heard the keys against the little bowl on the table next to the front door. Then the door opened and the next thing he heard was it shut closed.

Alec looked at the door, and Magnus wasn’t there anymore. It was over. It was the end.

***

It had been a hell of a week and the only thing Alec wanted to do was having a glass of wine. One that he didn’t want to drink at home. A home which didn’t felt like his home for a month now. And having a glass of wine alone in a bar filled with happy people around was better than having a glass of wine in an empty apartment with his loneliness.

A month since he hadn’t talked to his boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, actually, Magnus. Alec had a bitter taste in his mouth and an indescribable feeling in his chest when he thought about that word. He was single.

There wasn’t a moment when he didn’t think about Magnus. And the worst thing was that the whole apartment reminded Alec of him and their love, their life together.

The splash on the wall in the kitchen which reminded him of that time when they were making new cocktails and Magnus dropped the shaker and all the liquid landed on the wall.

The plant which was in the corner of the living room that Magnus had named Tobias. And Alec didn’t care about Tobias, he didn’t water it. It was Magnus’ plant. Tobias was about to die like their relationship had died a month ago.

The shampoo in the bathroom which was Magnus’ favorite and Alec couldn’t throw away. And the bedroom which still smelled like Magnus and there was still glitter on the pillow that Magnus usually slept on.

Alec took off his suit jacket and placed it on the backrest of a tall stool at the bar. 

He rolled the sleeve of his shirt up to his elbows and hissed when he touched the tattoo on his forearm. The plaster was bloody. Luckily, it couldn’t have been seen under his shirt. Probably he didn’t even notice that he’d been scratching himself all day.

“Stop doing that,” Alec told himself under his nose. He didn’t know why he did it. It was like trying to free himself from all the memories. Even though he knew that he just couldn’t scratch a tattoo from his skin, but he could always try. He was fooling himself. He wanted to believe that he could forget Magnus.

Alec sat to the bar and the bartender placed his glass on the top of the bar. Alec took a sip from it, staring the golden liquid in the glass. Of course it reminded him of Magnus’ beautiful brown eyes which was the most delightful when he woke up and the morning lights made them more splendorous, made them golden.

Alec missed those mornings, when they were just laying in each other’s arms in bed on a Sunday morning, discussing where to have brunch or what movie they should watch next, or talking about their jobs. Or when they were just being in silence and caressing each other for hours.

Alec couldn’t forget how Magnus’ soft caramel skin felt against his fingertips, or hands, or his body. All of Alec’s nerve endings would tingle even from a single feather touch.

And now the pain in his heart grew stronger and the grip around his chest grew tighter when he thought about how he could never have that man again.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard a familiar melody from the jukebox. He let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. He didn’t look at who’d started to play that song, he just lowered his head, he felt tense in the back of neck, in his spine. That song was Magnus’ latest favorite.

When Magnus liked a new song he could listen to it on repeat for days until he got bored of it and never played it again. But that was the thing; Magnus had only liked that song a month ago. He probably already had a new favorite.

Alec ran his fingers through his hair and fished out his iPhone from his pocket, and searched for Magnus’ number. He hadn’t spoken with him since Magnus had left the apartment that night but he still was the most recent call in his phone. Alec didn’t know why, but he just hit on the green button and waited for an answer.

Only he hadn’t gotten a reply. Alec didn’t want to leave message at first but when he heard Magnus’ voice he couldn’t stop himself and had listened to the greeting to the end.

“I don’t know if I can make it on my own,” Alec said without introducing himself and greeting Magnus in the voicemail, “so, call me and we’ll talk about it,” he only said, pressing the red button without a goodbye.

He drank his wine and then headed to his apartment, he had some things to do till next morning.

***

“Mr. Lightwood, your cab is here,” the doorman said after Alec picked up the door-bell.

“Thank you, Conrad,” he answered and took a deep breath after he took the phone back to its place.

Alec looked around the apartment for the last time and grabbed the handle of his rolling suitcase then his belongings from the table next to the door. He locked the door and headed to the elevator. He let out a deep sigh as he waited.

Magnus didn’t call him back the night before and he had already made this decision a week ago. It was going to be for the best. At least for him. At least for a while. At least until he figured out what he was going to do with his life.

Alec gave his keys to Conrad when he met with him in the lobby. The doorman was about to take his suitcase but Alec refused him. “Thank you, but it’s okay,” Alec stated followed by a sincere smile.

“Have a nice flight, Mr. Lightwood!” Conrad said and opened the entrance door for Alec who nodded.

Alec saw his cab waiting in front of the building and headed right to the car.

“Alec!” he heard his name and the voice sounded familiar. But Alec turned his head to where the voice was coming from automatically, not realizing what he was doing. Yeah, the voice was way too familiar.

He stopped halfway to his cab on the sidewalk, looking at a man running toward him. The voice belonged to Magnus. Alec’s heart skipped a beat and didn’t move from where he was standing, waiting for Magnus to arrive.

Magnus was breathing heavily when he stopped in front of Alec.

“Can I just explain why I broke up with you?” he asked without greeting Alec with one breath even though he could see that it was already hard for Magnus to breathe properly.

“I don’t need you to explain yourself. It was pretty clear the last time,” Alec retorted. He really didn’t feel necessary to go into that conversation again. Not that he could forget that night when Magnus tore his heart into million little pieces. Alec saw that Magnus swallowed and his gaze was everywhere, like he was searching for something.

 “Are you okay, Alec?” Magnus asked softly, when he looked at him eventually. And Alec had never been more confused by that question from that person who was standing in front of him. He cleared his throat before answering.

“I don’t even know how to begin to answer that question,” Alec said seriously.

“I understand,” Magnus said, Alec could see something in his eyes but even though he knew Magnus well, he couldn’t read him anymore.

“Good... because I don’t,” Alec knew he was bitter but that was the truth. There were a million thoughts fighting in his head right now and for the first in his life, Alec didn’t know where his life was heading and what was going to happen.

“Are you leaving?” Magnus looked at Alec’s suitcase.

“Yeah,” Alec answered, his eyes on Magnus.

“How long?” Magnus asked immediately and Alec looked away.

“I don’t know,” he answered, rubbing the back of his head.

“Where to?” Magnus didn’t stop asking and Alec felt like he was on an interrogation room. He used to be on the other side of those conversations.

“San Francisco,” he answered flatly and Magnus’ eyes widened.

“You’re moving back in with your mom?” Magnus’ face reflected pure shock.

Alec only nodded. 

“Why?” Magnus asked and Alec rolled his eyes, he had no idea when the enquiry was going to end but he was really getting annoyed by now.

“I can’t stay in New York,” Alec said and opened the door of the cab. Magnus was next to him at the very next moment, grabbing him by his wrist, making him turn around. Alec’s heart skipped a beat from the sudden contact.

“Alexander! I don’t want you to move to San Francisco. I know I was rude and it’s selfish...” Magnus said and his voice was shaky. Alec could read his expression and he clearly knew this voice, Magnus was scared.

Alec’s gaze went from his wrist to Magnus’ eyes; he could see the despair in his eyes.

“And I broke up with you but I can’t do it in my own either, I can’t live without you, Alexander, and it’s eating me up. I thought that you were better off without me and I wanted to give you the best, a chance for better...” Magnus stepped closer, taking Alec’s hand between his.

Magnus gaze went on the plaster on Alec’s forearm and Alec placed his free hand on it immediately when he saw that Magnus clenched his eyes and pressed his  lips together.

“I want you back, Alexander,” Magnus whispered and a tear rolled down from the corner of his eye when he opened his eyes to look at Alec. “I love you,” Alec swallowed dryly and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “I’m so sorry,” Magnus said in a low voice.

Alec didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t think right. He only felt the pain and now he only could remember the last month which had been torture. And he finally decided to free himself from all the bad things he was feeling and he wanted to breathe finally. He needed air, he needed fresh air to function well.

Alec pulled his hand away from Magnus’ and forced a smile at him, he couldn’t answer to Magnus. He turned around and started to walk to the cab, taking his suitcase into the car’s trunk.

“Can I call you?” Alec heard Magnus’ voice from behind but Alec didn’t stop, he opened the door. “Alexander?” Magnus called after him.

Alec felt a tear rolled down on his cheek. Then a couple of others followed it. He took a deep breath, lifting his head up high, looking up at the sky, maybe the gravity help to hold back his tears.

Alec turned his head to Magnus who was standing still on the sidewalk, looking at Alec, his lips were a tight line. Alec’s heart was about to break seeing Magnus like that, he knew that Magnus was fighting with sobbing too. He hated that he knew Magnus well enough.

“Talk to you soon, okay?” Alec only said because he wanted to say something, but he knew it didn’t even sound as a promise and Magnus nodded and wrapped his arms around his own waist.

Alec got into the car and shut the door closed. The car was about to drive off when Alec looked down on his forearm where his tattoo was under the plaster.

“Wait!” Alec yelled to the cab driver, rubbing his face with both hands. “What am I doing?” he asked himself under his nose, and then he ran his fingers through his hair.

Alec got out of the cab suddenly, slamming the door closed forcefully. He turned to Magnus who placed his hands on his mouth and nose. Alec saw he gasped and he was watching Alec without blinking.

Alec was in front of him at the next moment and cupped Magnus’ face, stroking his cheek with his thumbs. Alec was looking back and forth between Magnus’ glassy eyes for a couple of seconds.

“You broke up with me so easily; you acted like you didn’t even care about me, about my feelings, about what I wanted. You didn’t hear me out, Magnus,” Alec said, his heart racing too fast in his chest.

“I guess, I’m a better actor than I thought,” Magnus gasped just before Alec pressed his lips on his. Magnus gripped Alec’ t-shirt and pulled him closer. Alec licked Magnus’ lower lip and he opened his mouth automatically to deepen the kiss. Alec gave everything into the kiss, his tongue dancing playfully in sync with Magnus’. He wanted to taste him again, wanted to feel him again, he never wanted to let go of him again.

“Do you need the cab?” Alec heard the driver was shouting at them and Alec laughed in the kiss. Magnus let go of the grip and gave a little peck on Alec’s lips.

“He’s not going anywhere,” Magnus called to the driver without breaking eye-contact.

Conrad probably saw the scene of their great reunion because he was already unloading Alec’s suitcase from the car’s trunk.

“Would you let me move back in with  you, Alexander?” Magnus asked in a low voice, looking at Alec under lowered lashes.

“If you weren’t going to move back willingly, I was ready to force you to do it,” Alec brushed their foreheads together, “don’t ever try to push me away from you,” he added.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Magnus smirked at Alec.

“Yeah?” Alec asked just before he pulled Magnus in a kiss again.


End file.
